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Home Satire

Driving over The Prince of Wales

Owen Donovan by Owen Donovan
8 years ago
in Satire
0
Driving over The Prince of Wales
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News today that the Second Severn Crossing is set to be renamed The Prince of Wales Bridge to mark Chuck Windsor’s 70th birthday later this year and secure a future honour for lickspittle-in-chief Alun Cairns.

You would think he has enough titles, but I’m not entirely sure it’s been thought through. I doubt many are going to say “The Prince of Wales Bridge”, in the same way people still call the Principality Stadium the Millennium Stadium or “Millennium”. The BBC will, of course, the wider media probably will too, but will ordinary folk?

If they did, they would probably drop a word or two to make it flow, so “The Prince of Wales Bridge” might become “The Prince of Wales”.

“At present, you need to pay more than £5, but you’ll soon be able to drive over The Prince of Wales for free….”

“At a cost of £330million to build and £15million to run every year, The Prince of Wales….”

“Gangs of workmen have been laying tarmac around the clock on The Prince of Wales….”

“There’s been a nasty accident on The Prince of Wales….”

“Lots of congestion backing up The Prince of Wales….”

“The charity fundraisers route will take them into Monmouthshire, where they will run over The Prince of Wales….”

“Due to strong winds, high-sided vehicles have been warned to avoid The Prince of Wales….”

“Protestors climbed on top of The Prince of Wales to unfurl a banner….”

“A lorry carrying horse manure overturned on The Prince of Wales….”

“The Prince of Wales is closed for repairs….”

“I come across The Prince of Wales so fast….”

“You can see The Prince of Wales from miles away….”

“I pulled off The Prince of Wales near Magor….”

“I bought a dodgy ham roll from Cardiff Gate; I needed to drive as quickly as possible over The Prince of Wales so I could stop off at Aust for a nasty Cairns.”

Alun isn’t a closet nationalist or republican, by any chance?

Tags: ConservativesUK Government
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